To Be Known

                          

Loneliness is a peculiar thing.  It takes on a life form that dwells within, crowding our space and  lingering  too long.  I don't understand it, or where it comes from, but I've certainly felt it. When trying to figure it out I wonder, "who is responsible for loneliness?" The one who doesn't put themselves out there? Or, others, who don't reach out? Are we all just a little too consumed with our own world? Too wrapped up in our responsibilities, worries, schedules, to make time for others? Or, are we plain wore out from all those same things?  Relationships take effort.  More work, more energy, to an already tapped out life.  Maybe it's none of those things. Maybe loneliness is just us feeling a void that is meant to be divinely filled.  An ache created to keep us longing for heaven and a future glory.

I have heard it said that what we really want in life is to be truly known and understood.  If that's true, wouldn't one orchestrate their life's dealings and interactions to promote and cultivate just that? Wouldn't one peel off the mask, release the shield, and bare the soul to be fully known? 

Recently I attended a national gathering for my denomination. The first one in over 30 years.  Attendance for those like me was not optional, so there were hundreds of us in the same place at the same time.  Brief and passing reunions at every turn and trip to the washroom.  During one of our meetings I was struck with the realization of how many people I 'know'.  Yet, at the very same time, how few I know and who really know me.  

Even more recently, I attended the funeral of one of our clients. A lady who battled depression and experienced loneliness in a dark and dreary way.  She believed she had very few people in her life and she was alone a lot.  The amazing thing was, the church was packed at her funeral. People came, filed in, cried and paid respects and remembered fondly this lonely life.  Did they know she was lonely when she was among the living?  Did she withdraw from attempts at community?  Or, were there even attempts?  I sat there puzzled and sad. Sad for her, sad for humanity. 

With a host of unanswered questions I choose to go with what I know.  What I do know for sure is that we experience an ache inside us because we live in a broken world.  A world that is longing for full redemption, pregnant with hope. If we focus on that ache we can quickly become pulled under and robbed of our peace and joy. The 'real' peace and joy, that deep anchor, unmoved by circumstances. Focusing on the ache cancels out hope. 

So what do we do with the ache we can't explain? The ache of loneliness or sadness or discontent?

1). Realize it is only a temporary ache.

2). Recognize it, feel it, but don't dwell on it or allow it any power over you.

3). Focus and dwell on the hope of future glory and heaven instead.  

4). Believe you are fully known, loved and understood by your creator.

5). Immerse yourself in the truth.  Some good starting points: Romans 8:18-39; 2 Corinthians 4:18; psalm 119:81; Philippians 1:21

6). Be the hope to someone else, bring community to the lonely.